


Tears

by Arabesqueangel



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Banter, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Mid-Credits Scene Compliant, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 22:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21309421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arabesqueangel/pseuds/Arabesqueangel
Summary: Thor says they are headed to Earth. Loki is understandably dreading their arrival. It's not just his own actions on Earth the last time that are causing him pause. It's the knowledge that Tony Stark is his soulmate and he can never know... no matter how much it hurts.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 72
Kudos: 813
Collections: LokixTony, Marvel





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Mini-bang! This fic all started with Greenishio's fabulous art! They gave me 4 possible images and I picked from there. The fic all developed from that and I am so happy with how it turned out! Even better, the gorgeous art is actually a gif as well! I hope you all enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed putting this together!

Loki pressed against the chilly glass until his whole vision was just a sea of stars. He even shapeshifted, just a small internal adjustment, nothing anyone could see, so that his breath was cold enough that it wouldn’t fog up the glass and occlude his view. Standing like this, Loki could almost forget that he was on a ship, a ship full of people who hated him; well, maybe there was one person who tolerated him. Not only that, he was headed to a planet full of more people who hated him. Not that Loki cared what the mortals thought, or the Asgardians for that matter. Well, maybe one Asgardian, and definitely one mortal. 

Loki pushed the thought out of his head and tried to focus on the stars they flew by. The constellations weren’t right, of course, but he was taken back to the nights on Asgard; the ones where he couldn’t sleep. He’d go out onto his balcony, slip his legs between the bars of the ledge to dangle off the railing and lay back and get lost in the sky. Some nights, after a time, a head with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair would block his view of the stars. His brother would laugh at his dreaminess, but quickly lay down beside him. Sometimes they would just stare in silence, others they would talk about everything and nothing. Loki couldn’t remember the last time he and Thor had spent time either in companionable silence or pleasant conversation. 

“What ails you brother? Still concerned about going to Earth?” Thor’s voice came behind Loki. Loki didn’t even turn around, he just sighed. 

Earth. Loki had every intention of never returning to that planet, but that was the position he was currently in. He could go to Earth and try to avoid that certain someone, a little difficult considering the man was teammates with Loki’s brother. He could also throw away all the progress he had made with Thor in repairing their fractured relationship and just run away. The problem was mostly that Loki had nowhere else to go. So until he could come with a better plan, Earth it was. 

“I don’t think it’s completely unreasonable considering the last time I was there,” Loki said dryly, pulling away regretfully from the glass. 

Earth had been the site of so much pain and humiliation, some of the worst he had ever encountered; which was a feat in itself really considering his history. Yet Thor had no idea about the worst of it. That while Thanos had caused worse physical pain, more pure trauma, it was really nothing compared to the knowledge that your soulmate was an enemy, someone who could never accept you. 

“But everything is different now. You’re on  _ my _ side. You’ll see,” Thor insisted earnestly.

Since Loki was not prepared to tell Thor all of his dirty little secrets, he chose to just smile tightly at his brother, and clap a hand on his shoulder as he left the room. Loki tried to make it look as if he was taking a leisurely stroll rather than running away from his brother. He didn’t happen upon anyone on the way to his room so it was a moot point, but focusing on the task helped. Once he was safely hidden behind a locked door, Loki sank to the floor and rested his forehead on his knees.

It was calming, but by blocking out his vision, his mind turned inwards, specifically to the man in question. It was a gift, or in Loki’s case a curse, of soulmate magic that the time you meet yours is forever ingrained in your memory with perfect clarity. Loki could remember every moment of that meeting: sound, smell, feeling. 

They had been sparring, verbally at least. The mortal was stalling and Loki knew it. But what the mortal didn’t know was that it was already too late. The portal was going to open at this point with or without Loki’s direct participation. The thought didn’t make him happy. He wasn’t proud or smug. Those emotions were too personal, and this wasn’t about Loki at all. He was just a tool, a cog in a machine. Convenient for the time but easily replaced when necessary. For that, he could feel pain, anger, frustration, all of which were swirling around in his brain. So much so that when he darted forward to put Stark under his thrall as he had so many other mortals, he didn’t even notice the temperature shift at first. Stark did though.

“Brrr,” Stark shivered, the tone of his voice as cocky as ever as he completely ignored the sculptor's failure to take his mind. “Feels like an arctic wind just blew through here. Hey, is there an opposite to soulmates, Maleficent? If so, and if my perky nipples have anything to say about it, you’re my soulenemy or whatever.” 

Loki barely acknowledged the words in his rage at his failure. He grabbed the mortal and flung him out the window. It wasn’t until later, after he was defeated and lying in a crater that the beast had made with his own body that Loki started to put together what had happened. The mortals took after Asgardians in many ways, one of them was the fact that when they met their soulmate for the first time the air heated up around them, increasing in intensity as they got closer, dissipating as they came together and went on to live happily ever after. 

There wasn’t a lot that Loki had read about Jotun soulmates, but he believed he remembered that they experienced a similar phenomenon, just with cold rather than heat, which made sense. He wasn’t able to confirm it until he had been hiding on Asgard as Odin, but Loki had been certain of it even then. He just felt it in his bones. Tony Stark was his soulmate. Because, of course, even Loki’s soulmate would be someone who could never accept him. 

Loki was certain that Stark had no idea. There would be no way he could know that Loki wasn’t Asgardian, would have a completely different soulmate reveal. But Loki knew that Stark would remember that encounter just as clearly as Loki, but he would not understand why and Loki was sure that his educated guesses wouldn’t be particularly flattering. 

Loki raised his head and wiped away an errant tear that had run down his face. He idly noted how cold it was and realized that he hadn’t shifted back. Loki laughed darkly at himself. He was getting ridiculously emotional just by the thought of going back to Earth. He couldn’t possibly allow himself to actually see Stark again. He would have to use every trick in the book to avoid him. Who knew what damage he could cause himself otherwise?

**********

“What’s Loki done now?” 

Loki immediately froze in place as he heard the words coming from the room he was just about to pass. Without thinking twice, Loki cast an illusion of invisibility over himself and hovered outside the door. The words had been spoken by Bruce Banner, and as far as Loki knew, he hadn’t done anything to earn them. He’d been on his best behavior the entire time he’d been trapped on this ship, not wanting to anger the Asgardians further or face his brother’s disappointed frown. 

“Nothing, I’m just worried about him,” Thor responded. 

Loki knew that he should keep walking. If he wanted to be anything other than a prisoner once they reached Earth, Thor needed to trust him, and eavesdropping was definitely not the right way to that path. Then again, trust needed to be earned on both sides and Thor was talking behind Loki’s back. So, Loki maintained his position. 

“He’s been quiet, withdrawn,” Thor continued. “Ever since I decided that we would go to Earth he’s pulled away from me all over again. I thought we were making progress.”

“Do you think he’s planning something? One of his schemes?” Banner asked. 

Loki suppressed a snort. As if he cared about Earth. He hadn’t even really wanted it the last time except to annoy Thor and because it got him out from under Thanos’s thumb. Plus ruling in itself was tedious and boring, he had certainly learned that lesson well enough since then. 

“Not against Earth or it’s people, no. I think he is going to take off again.” 

“I mean, could you really blame him? It’s not exactly as if the last time he was there went so well for him. He’s not going to find himself any friends there. Hell, he doesn’t even really have any friends among the Asgardians.” 

“He has me!” Thor protested hotly. Loki’s mouth twitched into just a slight smile. 

“Yes, but even you can’t have missed that you are the only one. Everyone else keeps their distance at best.”

“Ungrateful wretches,” Thor growled. “He helped save them all. They’ll come around.”

“He also tricked them for years, Thor. To say nothing of some of the things he did before that. It’s not like the mistrust is unwarranted,” Bruce argued.

Now Loki wanted to growl. They were ungrateful wretches. Sure, he had tricked them but it wasn’t as if he had done anything particularly devious as Odin. The whole point was to show that he could rule just as well. There may have been an unnecessary statue or two and maybe the play had been going a bit too far, but really, what was all that against saving their lives?

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t trust him?”

“Well, no, not exactly. I’m saying that they don’t have the same history with Loki that you do. They aren’t his brother. Though, I would tell you to be cautious with him. One good deed doesn’t mean that he’s suddenly turned a new leaf. I mean, the whole tricking everyone as Odin thing started right after he helped you defeat the Dark Elves.”

Thor seemed to give this some thought as the room was quiet for a time. Loki wanted to stab Banner. Not that it wasn’t good advice, it really was. It was something Loki would have told Thor himself, about anyone other than him. It was just so frustrating, because he really did have good intentions. He really did want this to go well and wasn’t planning anything but the barest bit of mischief. But that could quickly change, he supposed. 

“Could you trust him, Banner?” Thor asked finally. Loki definitely didn’t lean in further to hear better. 

“I don’t hate him, Thor; really I don’t. I know that what happened years ago in New York wasn’t personal and we didn’t have the whole story; I get it. And truthfully, he seems a lot saner now than he was then. Could I see trusting him in the future? Sure. But it would take a lot of time to overcome that. I’m not saying  _ you _ shouldn’t trust him, just… be cautious.” 

Banner sounded almost sad to be saying that, but it didn’t change his words. Loki sighed and turned back to walk away before the conversation had truly broken up and one of them left the room and possibly caught him. As Loki walked all plans of elaborate trickery to avoid seeing Stark started to crumble. He couldn’t act too suspicious. Since Thor didn’t know the reason why Loki wanted to avoid Stark, he would immediately jump to the worst conclusions. Sure, he could tell Thor, but Loki wasn’t sure he was quite ready for that. Thor might understand, or he might work to try to get Loki and Stark together and that would likely blow up in all of their faces. Loki was going to have to be far more subtle. 

**********

Loki was advising Thor, not arguing as Banner so rudely claimed, on the ship’s navigation systems. It didn’t matter how many times Thor insisted, Loki would never accept that being able to fly with a hammer meant that someone could fly a ship. Loki  _ almost _ brought up the fact that Thor didn’t even have his hammer anymore, but he wasn’t all that interested in a wrestling match that day. Worse, he was a little concerned that Thor might actually cry and he really couldn’t take that. So, Loki was explaining in depth the many ways that Thor was very wrong on what needed to be done when the console beeped. 

A quick glance told Loki everything he needed to know and his insides froze. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Thor asked with irritating delight.

“What is it?” Banner asked, leaning forward as if he would be able to tell himself just by looking.

“I’ll be going now,” Loki said casually, getting up out of the chair before he did something truly embarrassing like hyperventilating. 

“Loki, stay,” Thor ordered. 

Loki whipped around and glared at Thor. “I am not a dog for you to order around.”

Thor looked reasonably chastened. “I’m sorry, please will you stay?”

“What is going on?” Banner asked again, a little more tersely.

“Someone is hailing us from Earth. Please do convince my brother that it wouldn’t be good for me to be around. You’re good at that,” Loki snapped.

Both Thor and Banner looked confused at that, but were distracted by the voice that came over the speakers. 

“Earth to whoever the hell this is, start talking or I start firing,” a very familiar voice threatened. Thor immediately went to press the button to open up the communication channel. Loki swatted his hand away. 

“Tony!”

“Stark!”

“Loki,” Loki said, proud that he sounded utterly bored, but he got their attention. He pointed in the direction of the door. 

“Maybe it would be better if they were warned ahead of time that you’ll be coming,” Bruce directed this more at Thor than Loki.

“Yes, perhaps it would save us a fight once we land.” Thor nodded still facing Banner.

“Or that would just give them time to plot how best to imprison me. No thank you.” Loki sneered. 

“Stark would be reasonable, wouldn’t he?” Thor asked Banner. 

“I don’t think Tony would initiate anything against Loki, not without our support.”

“Yes, do continue to speak as if I am not here. That is a guaranteed way to convince me,” Loki grumbled. 

“Stark, hello. It’s Thor, god of Thunder.” Thor clicked the button that opened the communication channel. 

Loki just barely managed to stifle his indignant squawk. Thor, of course, immediately opened up the video feed as well and so Loki couldn’t discretely sneak out of the room. He had to settle for a quick side step that put him just behind Thor. He hoped the big oaf would mostly block him from the camera. 

“Yeah Thor, I still know who you are, but it’s still awesome to see you!” Stark said brightly.

Loki couldn’t see Stark’s face from this angle. He wasn't sure if he wanted to or not. Just hearing the man’s voice caused a painful, cracking feeling in Loki’s heart. It could be far worse. 

“Bruce!” Stark must have just noticed the scientist. Loki could only imagine what it might be like to have Stark, or anyone really, say his name with that much raw emotion. There was grief and affection and wonder, and Loki really needed to escape this room. 

“Hey Tony,” Banner replied shyly. 

“You… how? Thor? This is a story I need to hear.”

“Yes, it is quite a tale. We’ll be in orbit very soon; I have several thousand Asgardian refugees with me, a few other aliens, and …” Thor trailed off, looking around for where Loki had hidden. 

“Who is that behind you? You hiding any more long lost friends?” Stark asked. 

“I feel like friends might be moving a bit fast, but I’m willing to consider it,” Loki said, moving into view. 

Stark’s face froze in surprise as he processed this turn of events. But before Loki could really appreciate it, Stark was opening his mouth. 

“I thought that we didn’t have to worry about the evil brother any more? You said he was dead, Thor.”

Expecting a reaction like this, Loki didn’t even flinch, didn’t hesitate. “He didn’t even know he had an evil sister either; is he really the guy you are going to trust on these things?”

Stark frowned. “Is he serious?” When Thor opened his mouth to reply, the man cut him off. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know. Or at least, not now, maybe later. The little brother creates some difficulties, I’ll have to talk to my people, but we’ll figure something out. I’m sending coordinates for where you can land. Meet you there.”

After the obligatory farewells and promises to see each other soon, Stark signed off. 

“Well, that went well.” Thor said brightly.

Loki just rolled his eyes and left the room. He thought he might have heard Thor calling back for him but he ignored it. He needed to plot. He wasn’t going to be able to face Stark without a plan and an iron will and that would take time. He only had a few hours. Once again, Loki hid himself in his room, though this time he made it to the bed rather than collapsing at the floor of the door. 

Throwing himself on his mattress felt a bit juvenile, even for him, but he collapsed upon it nonetheless. He threw his arm over his eyes to block out the harsh artificial lighting of the ship. Incongruently, he wanted to laugh at the dramatic display he was sure he made. 

At least now he had no illusions as to Stark’s regard. There had been daydreams, of course, of a Stark that had moved beyond what Loki had done, had put it all behind them, but they hadn’t been anything more than idle fantasies. He had never actually believed them. Or, he never meant to anyways. 

What was it that Loki had snapped at Thor? It had been right after his life had gone even farther afield than ever before, which was saying a lot. Sentiment. Everything that had gone wrong in Loki’s life could be chalked up to an excess of sentiment. As much as Loki absolutely hated that fact, he couldn’t seem to completely put it behind him. There were people who had managed to wedge a boot in the door to Loki’s heart, so he could never quite slam it shut. It was fortunate that there were so few of them. Loki couldn’t imagine the pain of having that door swung open wide. 

Loki put a hand over the ache in his chest he currently felt. As if a rub could soothe the crackling feeling. If anything, it seemed to get worse. The sheer physicality of the pain surprised him, brought tears to his eyes even. Oddly, the tears did well to distract Loki from the pain in his chest. They were cold, icy even. But this time, Loki hadn’t done any sort of shapeshifting so he couldn’t understand why that was. He should probably look into what was happening. It was probably some fatal Frost Giant disease that would kill him slowly and painfully. He’d look into it; but not tonight, tonight he would wallow, because tomorrow he was going to face Tony Stark once again.

*****

When the ship landed at Stark’s appointed spot, Loki strutted out right alongside Thor at the head of the group. His steps were confident, arrogant even, and very at odds with what he was currently feeling. His eyes fixed immediately upon their welcome party. Loki was surprised to see that Stark was only accompanied by two other people. The one to Stark’s right was dressed in armour that resembled the Iron Man suit that Stark was currently wearing, only more bulky and grey. To Stark’s left was an individual like nothing Loki had ever seen on Earth before. He had red skin and a bright yellow cape. 

Loki tried to decide if the small group was a good sign or if he was offended that Stark hadn’t brought a fleet of soldiers, or even the whole team of Avengers, to face his enemy’s arrival. 

“Well, there’s not an army. That has to be a good sign, right?” Loki said lightly to Banner and Thor. 

Thor just shot him an exasperated look while Banner concentrated on the group in front of them looking mildly concerned. While two of the men were currently wearing their full body armor, their helmets were not on, giving Loki his first opportunity to appreciate Stark’s face since his defeat. There were lines there that hadn’t existed several years prior; and grey hairs mixed liberally with the dark of his stylized beard. It certainly didn’t make the man any less appealing. Loki could appreciate the overall maturing effect on his visage. 

They continued forward until they were within comfortable speaking distance, Tony grinned at Banner and Thor before regarding Loki warily. Loki felt the air around them cool. Only he and Tony could feel it, of course, and for a moment, Loki worried that Stark was going to say something, but he just kept frowning. 

“Three against three. I like my odds,” Loki quipped. 

To Loki’s surprise Stark flinched. He couldn’t imagine why that might be, considering the mildness of the comment. Stark hadn’t struck him as particularly sensitive when they had bantered before. Loki could feel the glares of both Banner and Thor prickling at his neck, but he shrugged them off. Sure, he had managed to hit a sore spot, but he had no way to know what that was about. Still, it definitely didn’t help his case with any of the heroes.

“Was it too conceited to think that the entire team was going to come to greet us?” Banner asked with an uncertain smile.

“Yeah… uh… about that….” Stark started, looking uneasily at the two men beside him. “Things have changed a bit; I’ll get into it when…” 

Starked trailed off, looking at Loki again, his frown deepened. “When it’s just the good guys.”

“Haven’t you heard? I am one of the good guys now,” Loki beamed at him. 

Disappointingly, Stark didn’t even react. He just started going off about laws and rules and something called the ‘Accords’. It appeared to mean that several Avengers including Barton and the Captain were no longer in the picture. Loki really didn’t pay that much attention beyond that. He’d do what he wanted and he was sure that Stark or Thor would inform him if it somehow was contrary to what they wanted. Always better to ask forgiveness than permission. So, instead of listening, Loki was distracted by the puzzle that was the caped man. 

Something about this being made Loki very uneasy. His very magic seemed to itch inside him, wanting to pull him as far away from the man as possible. He didn’t seem human, but neither was Loki so that couldn’t be it. Since Loki’s magic was what was reacting the most actively, Loki reached out. He deliberately sent just the smallest tendril of investigatory energy towards the man. Loki continued to search visually for the reason. His magic hit the man at about the same instant that Loki’s eyes drilled in on the yellow stone in the middle of his forehead. 

At the touch of Loki’s magic, the being’s eyes locked on Loki’s own and he was overwhelmed by a feeling of dread. Those eyes regarded him dispassionately. Loki stumbled back a few paces, knowing it would do no good, but still needing to get even just that bit of space between him and the stone. 

The only thing that could have distracted Loki from the man with a fucking Infinity Stone in his head, was Stark. There was a huff of a laugh and Loki turned a shocked gaze onto Stark. The man was grinning smugly. 

“Yeah, gunna be pretty damn hard to get your shiny scepter back now isn’t it?” Stark asked. 

“It wasn’t mine,” Loki protested automatically, eyes not moving from the stone. “And that, is an abomination.”

“Hey, that’s my friend,” Stark practically growled, actually taking a step towards Loki. “And guess what? He’s worth at least a dozen of your betraying ass.”

“Hey, that’s my brother,” Thor rebutted, also stepping forward to place himself between Stark and Loki. 

“Fighting over me, be still my heart,” Loki couldn’t help snark. 

“Be still your mouth, please,” Banner asked. 

Both Loki and Stark snickered. Loki’s heart lept a bit until Stark realized that they were agreeing, however lightly, and stopped. The ache in Loki’s heart seemed to flare. 

“So... yeah,” Stark started, looking uncomfortable, but trying to get the conversation back on track. “I’ll do everything in my power, which as you know is quite a bit, to help you and the other Asgardians out, Thor, but Loki… well, we can’t just let him loose.”

“You don’t trust that I have him in hand?” Thor asked. Loki repressed the strong desire to roll his eyes.

“It’s not about my trust, there are other people involved here,” Stark said, and to be fair, he did look like he really did wish it was otherwise. 

“Ah, I see. Your SHIELD would like me in its hooks,” Loki guessed. 

“Actually, SHIELD isn’t really a thing anymore, or not like it was. No, this is about the Accords, but I did talk them into letting me take custody of Loki.” Stark continued, speaking to Thor as if Loki wasn’t the one who had asked the question. 

It was everything Loki had been hoping to avoid. It wasn’t just a lack of avoidance, seeing Stark every day? Could he really do that? Would it drive him crazy...er? Possibly. But it might also be worth it. To get on even mildly friendly terms with his Soulmate would be more than Loki had ever hoped. 

“Where?” Banner asked. 

“The compound. I’m there full time, so is Vision. There’s others that stop in frequently. He’ll be watched, but it won't be a prison. It’s the best deal I could make. And that’s only because I like you, Thor.”

“No,” Thor said immediately. “Loki’s helped us; he wont do anything to this planet. I’m sure he’ll make whatever pledge you…”

“I’ll do it,” Loki interrupted. 

The entire group of men stared at Loki in shock. 

“Ok, that was so easy it’s now suspicious,” Stark said, narrowing his eyes at Loki. 

Loki just grinned back, trying to look innocent. He was fairly sure he failed. He had never been very good at it, even as a child. Such was the curse of the God of Mischief. 

“This is the cost for me to at some point be able to help my brother. I must prove my willingness to do no harm, to play by the rules, yes? And furthermore, my time will be spent outside of a cell. Really, I can’t imagine a better deal. But you must swear, Stark, that if after a time, say three months I have not broken any of the terms of your watch that I will be allowed to go as I please.”

“A year,” Stark countered. 

“Six months,” Loki shot back. 

“Done,” Stark said quickly. 

Just like that. Loki couldn’t help but feel as if he had sealed his fate. Not one for long goodbyes, Loki quickly hugged his brother, trying not to take the surprised looks he got on all fronts personally. Honestly, it was like they thought he never had any positive emotions. 

“Alrighty, let’s get this show on the road. It’s a long flight back to New York,” Stark whistled. Loki considered staying put on the mere principle of not responding to a whistle like a hound, but then remembered he was trying to charm Stark into thinking he was trustworthy. 

“I could teleport us there. Would save the long flight,” Loki offered. 

Stark, predictably, laughed in his face. “Yeah right. As much as I do not look forward to nine hours in a confined space with a crazy murderer; I think I’ll take that over said murderer doing magic on me.”

And there it was. Loki grinned as if Stark had said something amusing, but his heart fell. Loki had just agreed to spend six months almost exclusively in Stark’s company, and Stark was apparently not going to pull any punches in showing Loki just how much he despised him. This was going to be interesting. 

*****

The heroes didn’t trust Loki to walk behind them, so he was first to board Stark’s jet. Loki made his way to the seats in the very back and settled himself. He stretched his legs out in front of him and marveled at the comfort that Stark’s wealth provided. He’d been in much less luxurious royal ships. Vision and Colonel Rhodes sat in the very front of the plane, eyeing Loki as if he would object to the distance. Of course, he was far more comfortable that way so he smiled and nodded to the two as if thanking them for the gesture. Vision didn’t react but Rhodes scowled.

Ever the contrary one, Stark walked right past his friends and sat down right across from Loki, shivering as the air once again chilled around them. He was no longer in his metal suit, rather a business one and so he had to be feeling the cold significantly. Loki frowned, wondering how Stark would take the suggestion that he sit a bit farther away for his own comfort. 

“Ok, Ice Queen. What’s with the cold? Are you using your magic just to fuck with me?” 

Loki had anticipated the question, but he still wasn’t quite sure the best way to respond. He would need to tell something that rang true, but he obviously couldn’t tell the truth. Even the half truth would hurt, though. 

“My apologies, but it isn’t intentional. I’m a Jotun.” Loki explained.

Stark just gave him an expectant look, waiting for more information. 

“I’m a Frost Giant? Not Asgardian,” Loki explained, unable to make eye contact. They were taking off, which gave him the perfect excuse to look outside. “Cold comes with the package. I haven’t been able to control it since I found out.”

All delightfully true; all painfully misleading. 

“Oh, different alien huh? Weird. Thor said you were adopted but I didn’t realize it was that big. So that’s why the adoption thing made you crazy huh? Not a fan of the cold?”

“More that the Asgardians aren’t fans of the people I come from. Sworn enemies in fact,” Loki explained, chancing a glance at Tony’s face. He looked mildly curious, but nothing more. “I’m also not fond of being lied to.”

“Yeah, I’m right there with you on that one. So keep that in mind, Pinocchio. I’ve read the myths and I’ve heard my fair share from Thor.”

Loki winced. “Noted.”

The rest of the trip was spent in relative silence. It was maddening. It wasn’t that Loki needed to be talking constantly, or couldn’t amuse himself, he just didn’t know what to do. Ever since Odin had announced the date of Thor’s coronation, Loki had been scheming. He’d always had a plan going, machinations at work and consequences thereof to deal with. Suddenly, his only plan was to spend time with Stark and prove that he could be allowed to wander free on Earth and join his brother. It was a plan, but with no active component that he could really see. If he couldn’t deal with the boredom of a nine hour flight, how was he going to handle six months of the same?

“What’s wrong?” Stark asked. 

Loki looked up, brought out of his musings by the first words in hours. Stark nodded, indicating Loki’s chest. Loki hadn’t realized that he had been rubbing at the crackling sensation he was still intermittently experiencing. Loki lowered his hand. 

“Nothing to be concerned about. It’s probably just something I ate,” Loki shrugged and went back to staring out the window. 

“Heartburn,” Stark offered and Loki chuckled. Quite the opposite, he was sure, but there was nothing to be done about it for the moment. 

When they finally landed, Loki was shown to his room. Room, not cell; even though Stark had already stated that, Loki figured this was an auspicious beginning. That was the highest Loki allowed his hopes to go. Which meant that they weren’t completely dashed when he spent the next several weeks completely and utterly alone.

It would be easy to mistake the non-interference as trust, but Loki knew too much about Stark. He was far too busy to keep watch himself. Moreso, it wasn’t necessary. He had all manner of technology to do the watching for him. This particular model was named FRIDAY. She never addressed Loki unless he initiated contact which he hadn’t done since Stark initially introduced them. He wasn’t so pathetic as to rely on an artificial entity for company. 

However, Loki was surprised to find that he greatly desired interaction. He had always been one to keep his own company. Preferred silence over the inane chatter of his fellow Asgardians. However, he supposed that his time as Odin had made him accustomed to having people around him almost constantly. There were greetings and feasts and meetings, so many meetings, and now he had absolutely nothing to fill his time. It was threatening to drive him mad… again. 

Stark had been considerate enough to provide Loki with meals in his room. Between that, his books and his lack of desire to run into the Mind Stone, Loki had mostly kept to his four walls. However, Loki knew that if he truly let boredom set in, let loneliness eat away at his mind, he would cause trouble and ruin all chances of escape. Likely that would be just the thing to get him confined to the cell he had initially dreaded. So, Loki finally braved the outside world, or the amount of it he was allowed, and left his room. 

Loki wandered the halls tense and alert for the slightest sign that he was not alone. Yet, it wasn’t his eyes or ears that alerted him to another’s presence. It was the flaring of chilled air that sprung up around him. Loki looked at the open door to his left and saw that it was a small kitchen where Stark was currently pouring coffee into a very large mug. Stark shivered and turned, fixing Loki with a glare. It wasn’t particularly heated; it was more annoyance than hate, but still Loki recoiled, backing up a step by reflex. He wasn’t sure what the look on his face was, but it made Stark’s glare lighten to something more like puzzlement. Still, Loki took off, cowering back to his room, breathless from the ache in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he actually heard Stark’s voice calling behind him or if he imagined it. 

*****

Months continued on in this manner. Pride be damned, Loki had taken to narrating his activities to FRIDAY just so he wouldn’t be stuck in silence. Each day he braved the compound, explored new floors for a change of scenery. He had actually had seven conversations with Colonel Rhodes. All about inane, safe topics, but they were still conversations with a live person that didn’t contain threats or insults, so Loki considered it to be a win. He had spotted Vision three times and promptly fled in the other direction. He had no pride left when it came to avoiding the Mind Stone’s influence no matter what his brother or Stark seemed to believe about the entity that wore it. 

As for Stark, Loki saw him the most often. Generally, Stark was distracted enough in whatever he was doing that Loki could back away quietly without Stark ever knowing he was there, assuming they weren’t already close enough for their soulmate sign to flare. Of course, that wasn’t always possible if Stark was just in the next room and Loki got too close without seeing him. Stark would still tense, every single time, but he wouldn't frown anymore. He’d even try to make polite conversation, which Loki couldn’t help but go along with. It wasn’t comfortable per se, but it wasn’t bad either. It was honestly more than Loki had ever thought possible. 

Still Loki was too intelligent and observant not to notice the correlation between the ache in his chest and his interactions with Stark. It rarely bothered him unless he was speaking with the mortal. The book on Jotun’s tucked away in his pocket dimension went unread. Loki was quite enjoying actively pretending the problem didn’t exist. If he ignored it, it would probably go away, yes? That was how most problems worked. He chuckled at his own ridiculousness.

“What’s so funny, tall, dark and scary?” Loki startled as Stark walked into the room.

“The cruel irony that is my life,” Loki responded immediately, curious if Stark would take the bait. 

Stark barked out a harsh laugh. “Join the club.”

“I’m older than you, I believe that makes it my club. But you may join if you so wish.”

“I bet I could beat you on an irony per year basis,” Stark challenged.

“Do you really want to make this a competition? I’d hold you to proving it.” It was a bluff, Loki had no intention of sharing the cruelest irony of all, but he was willing to bet Stark would be equally as reluctant.

Stark looked down at the phone in his hand. Loki couldn’t be sure, but he guessed that maybe Stark had just gotten off a call with someone. It had been a call that bothered him clearly; what Loki couldn’t discern was what that had to do with him. 

“Do Jotuns have soulmates?” Stark asked suddenly. 

Loki’s breath caught. Of all the questions he could have predicted Stark asking, that was definitely not one of them. Stark shivered as the chilled air around them seemed to swirl with Loki’s discomfort. 

“I’m going to guess that’s a touchy subject?” The hero asked wryly. 

“They do,” Loki managed, ignoring the second question. 

“But you haven’t,” Stark guessed. 

The lie was on his lips but Loki hesitated. He wasn't sure why he did. The truth wouldn’t help anyone, but he really didn't want to lie to his soulmate. Yet if he said he had, Stark would want the story. Stark was curious by nature and Loki would just have to come up with an elaborate tale and therefore lie anyways. Fortunately, Stark seemed to read volumes into Loki’s hesitation. 

“You have met them.” Stark looked shocked. “You met them, but it ended badly.”

Loki suppressed a hiss of pain, looking down so that Stark couldn’t see his face. Tears were prickling in his eyes, but they weren’t liquid. It felt like ice shards stabbing into his tear-ducts. He didn’t want the pain to come through his voice so he just nodded. 

“I’m sorry,” Stark said then. Loki looked up in surprise. The words weren’t what threw him, they were the polite response, but Stark actually sounded like he meant it. 

“I haven’t found mine, and I’m old enough by this point that the odds are against me finding them at all. I thought for a while there Pepper and I could be happy. I mean, we both hadn’t found soulmates and we really did love each other. It could have worked. But she’s younger than me.”

“And she found hers while you were together,” Loki concluded. 

“A few months ago, actually. We’d been together seven years, give or take a bit of a break there a bit ago. I had a ring…” Stark trailed off, looking gutted. 

Loki ached to comfort him. He knew precisely what it was like to not be with the person you wanted. Sure, most of that wanting for Loki was just based on the fact that Stark was his soulmate. Loki trusted that the universe would not have paired them if they weren’t each other’s perfect counterpoints. But since coming to live with Stark, Loki found that he had liked what he had seen. Stark was funny, clever, driven, interesting. So many qualities that Loki relished, that he wished to be a part of. If Loki had ever doubted whether his mate was the right one for him, those doubts had been effectively extinguished in just the bare minimum of time he’d spent in Stark’s company. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki said, hoping that Stark could hear his earnestness as Loki had Stark’s. 

Stark nodded, accepting the words with a slight smile tugging the corner of his mouth. “Thanks.”

“And you,” Loki said. 

Stark shrugged one shoulder deprecatingly, “Eh, who could put up with me for the rest of their life anyways? Probably a good thing my soulmate never turned up. They’d have to be a piece of work and  _ still  _ likely wouldn’t be able to deal with me.”

Once again Loki had to stop the words right before they left his lips. He wanted to dispute Stark’s words. Heap him with praise over his attributes. Show how the qualities he deemed to be flaws were actually characteristics that the right person would love. That at least one person did love. Of course, coming from Loki that would mean next to nothing. At best it would be suspicious. And really, what was the point? Stark had already given up on ever finding his soulmate anyways. And Loki would make sure that he would never find out. They would both just have to deal with the consequences. The pain of that stabbed his heart anew; fortunately, Stark appeared to be on his way out. 

“So, yeah. Not sure why I decided to bother you with all that junk. Just got off the phone with Pep who is, of course, obscenely happy. And, of course, I’m happy for her. Just happened to be walking down this hall, so yeah… anyways, talk to you later.” 

Stark gave Loki an awkward wave before frowning at his hand like he wasn’t sure why it had done something so awkward. Loki just nodded, holding his breath against the searing pain in his chest. Stark turned on his heel and walked out the door. Loki let out his breath in a great gasp. 

This was it. He was going to die. He was almost certain of it this time. The ice shards in his eyes built until he couldn’t keep them open any longer. Closing them didn’t help much, but at least he could concentrate elsewhere. Mostly on keeping a scream of pain from escaping. 

Loki didn’t do a very good job. It wasn’t so much a scream as a grunt but it sounded deafening to his ears. He fervently hoped that Stark was far enough away that he didn’t hear it. Those hopes were quickly dashed by the sound of running feet. With what little consciousness he could spare over and above the pain, Loki tried to get up. He didn’t want Stark to come upon him writhing in pain on the floor. But especially with his eyes shut tight, he couldn’t manage it. He moaned as his fight to get his feet under him failed and his shoulder hit the hard ground. 

“Shit, Loki, what happened?” Stark asked. 

Loki could only whimper. He didn’t even have the energy to spare to feel mortified. If he survived he’d be embarrassed later. Stark approached closer at the sound and the cold air whipped around them. Loki briefly felt Stark’s warm, tentative fingers on his neck before Stark hissed and jumped back. 

“Damn it; it’s like touching dry ice,” Stark complained and Loki moaned. Now he had hurt his soulmate. His final act was to hurt the one person he never wanted to hurt again. And he thought his life had been cruel irony before. 

“Please stop,” Loki managed through gritted teeth. “Leave me.”

“Fuck that,” Stark responded immediately, and then everything went black. 

********

“He appears to be stable for the moment, but I don’t know how long that will last; we know too little about his people’s biology to make any assumptions.”

Loki shivered. That was Vision’s voice and it was far too close for his liking. Stark must have called him after Loki blacked out. He wondered if the entity had been responsible for Loki’s distinct lack of dying. He really hoped not. It would be far too awkward to owe Vision anything. 

“I should call Thor, shouldn’t I? I was kind of hoping not to until we had news, preferably the good kind, but he’s going to know more about Loki’s species than anyone,” Stark said.

“Don’t,” Loki managed before opening his eyes and sitting up. Hopefully that would demonstrate the lack of necessity for calling his brother. The last thing he needed was Thor finding out he was dying. The oaf would be insufferable. “Thor couldn’t tell the anatomy of a Jotun from a resident of Muselspeim if he had his hands in their hypothalamus.”

Both Stark and Vision looked at him in mute surprise and confusion. 

“Those of Muselspeim are fire demons.” Loki explained. 

“Oh, and the hypothalamus regulates body temperature. I get it.” Stark snapped his fingers. “Damn, your brain just starts right back on the top level doesn’t it?”

Loki rather thought that was a compliment; he wasn’t sure what to do with it, but it created a nice warmth in his chest. It wasn’t enough to clear the heavy icy feeling though. 

“So, you want to tell us what happened?” Stark asked after a moment. 

“Not really,” Loki responded honestly. 

“Ok, my fault, I should have phrased that better. So, tell me what happened or I am siccing your brother on you.” Stark clarified, but he smiled a bit to temper the threat. 

“Really, it’s nothing,” Loki assured him. “I believe I mentioned to you that I have had a hard time controlling the ice powers since I discovered my birthright? This was just it acting up again. Nothing to be concerned about; I’m working on it.”

“Yeah, pretty sure that your own body shouldn’t be making you black out from pain. Is there something I can do to help? Oh, the hypothalamus. You said you have one. Maybe if I studied it and could determine how it differs from the human one I could make something that helps it regulate your temperature.” Stark had a gleam of excited ingenuity in his eyes. It was so endearing that Loki couldn’t possibly say no to him. 

“You would do that for me?”

“Sure! Why not?” Loki shot Stark a disbelieving stare and the inventor laughed. “Oh yeah, fair. Well, I can’t resist a challenge and the whole point of you being here is for us to not be enemies anymore, right? Can’t let you die on my watch. Big brother would be an even worse person to have as an enemy than you.”

Loki smiled. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“Maybe I could be of some assistance. The stone does give me some insight-”

“No,” Loki barked, not even allowing Vision to finish his sentence. In his glee over Stark’s regard, Loki had forgotten that the other being was here. That was a dangerous thing.

“Oh, what, so you can play in other people’s minds, but no one can use that power on you? Not even to help you?” Stark argued.

“That wasn’t my idea,” Loki denied stubbornly. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice,” Stark argued with all the conviction of the most tenacious of heroes.

“Fine,” Loki said, rephrasing the sentence. “I was unwilling to die for the sake of mortals that I cared nothing for.”

Stark was still frowning, but it had none of the heat that had been there previously. “So that’s the story then? You were coerced?”

“That’s the basics. I wasn’t mind controlled if that’s what you are asking. However, the Mind Stone was used to help ensure that I was in the correct frame of mind. I’m not willing to chance that again.” 

Unsurprisingly, Stark looked like he still had quite a few questions, but Loki’s badly stifled yawn seemed to remind him that Loki had been writhing in pain not too long before. So, he just nodded and gestured for Vision to leave with him. Vision wished Loki well which Loki accepted as graciously as he could manage. His company gone, Loki faded into sleep before he could start to really contemplate the idea that Stark might want to help him.

When Loki woke up he was forced to admit that he couldn’t leave research off any longer. The problem was very clearly not going to go away; it was more than likely getting much worse and very quickly. Wearily he sorted through the precious few books he had managed to save from destruction, plucking the two that he believed would be the most helpful. One was about Jotuns and the other about Soulmates. 

Loki found his ailment in the Jotun book first. He scanned the one on soulmates to double check the information before dropping the books and collapsing back into his pillows. Of course this was all Stark’s fault; it wasn’t intentional, but fact just the same. It seemed that unlike the other civilized being of the nine realms, Jotuns faced a consequence if denied by their soulmate. Their hearts would slowly turn to ice. That ice would spread, freezing them from the inside until they were nothing but frozen statues. 

Slow was right. Had he been experiencing this ever since he met Stark? Why was he only experiencing symptoms now? Did Stark’s denial not count until they saw one another again? Did it matter? No matter how or how long, Loki was dying. From the heavy ache in his chest, he was likely dying soon. Nothing could save him except Stark’s change of heart . 

It would be so easy to just break down. Loki could feel the ice prickling at the corners of his eyes. His own body mocking him with what was happening, what was going to happen. He got the mad thought that if he could just cry, if he could get actual liquid tears to fall, if he could release everything he was feeling, it would all be ok. The ice built in his eyes and he rubbed at them to try to clear them. He wasn’t a fool. He knew that everything was hopeless. 

*****

Despite his words the day before, Loki was surprised when Stark showed up at his room early the next morning. 

“Hey there Sleeping Beauty! How are you feeling?” Stark asked brightly. 

Even if he didn’t know the reference, Loki knew that the name was one. Still, he couldn’t help a small blush at being called ‘beauty’. 

“Well enough, I suppose,” Loki responded. The truth was that his chest ached, his steadily freezing heart a heavy weight in his breast. He was exhausted, weak and hungry, but he certainly wasn’t going to get into all that with Stark. 

“Well, let’s see about getting that to great, shall we?” Stark gallantly gestured at the hall with a sweeping bow. 

Loki rolled his eyes, but got up and walked to the hall anyways. Stark just laughed at his, admittedly false, derision, and hurried so that they were walking side by side. 

“So, I’m going to admit that while I did a lot of research last night, the squishy sciences are not my forte.”

“Squishy?”

“Yeah, you know, body stuff. It’s all squishy. I like to stick to physics and engineering myself, but I’m always up for a challenge and I’m pretty sure you don’t get more challenging than alien brain chemistry. Truthfully, it would be better if I could get Vision’s help-”

Loki’s breathing hitched at the thought.

“-yeah, I thought that’s how you might react so not going to do that for now. Bruce would be another candidate…” Stark trailed off, obviously looking for Loki’s reaction to that thought. Really, he was neutral about it. He didn’t care for Bruce particularly, but he didn’t hate him. He feared the man’s alter-ego more than he’d care to admit, but Bruce had seemed reluctant to let the beast out since Ragnarok so it should be safe. 

“Ok, based on that reaction I’m guessing you aren’t completely opposed. But we’ll start with just me. I’d love to be able to tell him I figured it out all by my lonesome.”

It wasn’t until they turned the corner that Loki realized where Stark was leading him. Stark walked right on in to his lab, casual as you please, but Loki held back. 

“Hey Frosty, if we’re going to fix your brain, I kind of need it in here,” Stark called from.

“You are inviting me into your lab? Surely you cannot be serious.”

“Of course I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley.” Stark replied with a wink. 

“No, I didn’t. I said-”

“No, I know. It’s a stupid joke. Ignore me,” Stark waved negligently. “Really, it’s fine. I figure it’s in your best interest not to sabotage me for the moment. I trust your intelligence enough for that at least.”

Trust. Sure, it was limited and conditional, but it was still trust. It warmed Loki from the inside, not unlike when Thor trusted him to start Ragnarok. Loki couldn’t contain his pleased smile when he stepped into Stark’s beloved workspace. 

“Welcome to where the magic happens, or my version of it anyways since you have actual magic. Let’s get going.”

With all of the glee of a child in a sweetshop, Stark began digging through his various tools. There were scans, there were models, there were theories, but mostly there was conversation. Stark didn’t like to keep quiet while he was working, so he would talk about trivial things as his brain processed in the background. This continued over the course of many weeks. Stark got frustrated as the mysteries of Loki’s squishy parts continued to elude him. Loki, for his part, fell more and more in love with the mortal.

“I’m ready when you are, Stark.” Loki announced, walking into the genius’s lab as he had every afternoon for the last month. It never ceased to thrill him that he was now allowed in Stark’s most sacred spot. 

Unfortunately, when he entered, Stark looked up and frowned. Loki’s stomach flipped. It had been quite a while since his appearance had inspired a frown. Loki was vaguely contemplating just walking right back out the door when Stark finally addressed him.

“Sorry, Bambi. I totally forgot that we were doing the whole mind-map thing today.”

Loki relaxed. The frown was because Stark felt bad, that was fine then. “If you’re busy I can come back another time. Your work certainly takes precedence.” Especially since nothing you do for me will make the slightest bit of difference, he finished the thought. 

“Yeah, it’s not work.” Stark rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. “I kind of have a date.”

A date. Loki shouldn’t have been surprised, but somehow he was. It wasn’t as if he had any delusion about Stark actually liking him. It was just that he couldn’t picture Stark liking anyone else either. Especially not after what had happened with Ms. Potts. Loki’s lack of response increased Stark’s tension and he shifted uncomfortably. That put Loki even further on edge. Was Stark uncomfortable because he knew about how Loki felt?

“It’s not like… I know she’s not my soulmate or anything. But I mean, I can’t be alone for the rest of my life, even if I’ve given up on the soulmate part, right?”

Loki sighed with relief. Stark felt awkward because he knew that romance was a touchy subject for Loki based on their previous conversations. That was all. Still, Loki just nodded.

“You could do the same you know? I mean, in a couple of months at least. I’m sure there must be a cute Asgardian girl you could get along with.”

“There’s no Asgardian, of either gender, who could put aside the fact that I am a Frost Giant.”

“Oh, equal opportunity, huh?” Stark asked with a grin. “I generally prefer the fairer sex, but I’m all for flexibility.”

“I have a feeling you’d be astounded by how much we have in common,” Loki replied. 

Stark ignore that comment in favor of addressing the more somber note. “Was that the issue then? Your soulmate was Asgardian?”

“No,” Loki said simply. 

“Someone less flexible than you or I then?” Stark prodded. 

“Drop it, Stark.” Loki growled. 

Stark held his hands up in a conciliatory gesture. “Sorry, touchy subject, I know. I guess we’re still not there yet.”

Guilt, fear and denial struck Loki then. “No, Stark, it’s not-”

“No, no, I get it. It’s fine. Not like I don’t play my cards close to the chest. And soulmates… well that’s as personal as it gets huh? Sorry, Lokes, we can pick this up tomorrow.” 

Stark walked out of the lab, clapping Loki congenially on the shoulder. Loki just stood, statue-still. It wasn’t that the heaviness in his breast ever left, but it had seemed lighter, somehow, this past week. Now it threatened to pull him down to the ground. Loki’s knees wobbled, considering whether to ally themselves with his traitorous heart. 

This changed nothing, yet it meant everything. However unknowingly, this was such a blatant rejection that whatever curse it was that caused this terrible death had no choice but to surge up once again. Loki gave up the fight against his knees and sunk to the ground. What was the point anyways? He could fight it; he could try to eke a few more hours but he’d be dead in the end. He’d probably never see Thor again. That thought was annoyingly distressing, but there was little he could do about it at this point. He couldn’t even keep himself standing.

*****

When Loki woke up it was to the sight of big blue eyes and long blonde hair. Thor grinned down at him. Most people wouldn’t be able to detect the strain and worry in that wide smile, but after more than a millenia with his brother, Loki had learned all too well. Loki couldn’t help but smile back, then frowned as he remembered his odd last thoughts before collapsing. 

“Thor? Did I call you?” Loki asked, wondering if his magic could have gotten away from him that badly.

Thor joined him in frowning. “No, Stark did. He should have informed me sooner actually.”

Thor frowned at the direction of the door. Loki tried to sit up to see better but groaned as the heaviness in his chest fought him. At his noise of pain, Thor turned his attention back to Loki, but Loki was having none of it. 

“Is Stark there? Let him in you oaf,” Loki growled.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want… he didn’t have anything to do with this right?” 

“What?” Loki looked up at Thor, surprised that was the conclusion he had jumped to. “Of course not!”

Loki was lying, of course. But only in fact, not in essence. At this point, Loki didn’t believe that Stark would do anything to hurt him intentionally. Thor stepped aside reluctantly and Stark came rushing in. 

“Fuck, this is all my fault. I’m so sorry, Loki.” Stark stammered. 

Thor gave Loki a look that said, ‘see?’, and yes, Loki could see where Thor would have gotten that impression. Still, Loki had no clue what Stark was going on about. Unless?

“Who told you?” Loki gasped.

“Told me what?” Stark asked before waving off the question in favor of groveling. “I should never have gone out. I knew that what was wrong was serious and I left anyways, for a shitty fucking date.” 

“It was bad?” Loki asked in a small voice that made him instantly cringe. He was so transparent.

Stark shuddered dramatically. “I’ll tell you about it later. For now I’m just happy that you are back to your incredibly chilly self.”

Loki froze and fought not to check Thor’s reaction. “What?”

“When I found you in my lab, honestly I thought you were gone. I didn’t get the barest hint of a chill, but now,” Stark gestured to the goosebumps on his skin. “Back to arctic.”

“You feel a chill around Loki?” Thor asked. 

Loki couldn’t put it off, he looked over at his brother. Thor was looking uncomfortably pondersome. He may not be certain, but he could put two and two together almost as well as Loki could. 

“Well, sure. Don’t you? Or is this another alien superpower thing? I am really sick of being the only one around who doesn’t have super powers. I need to have Rhodey come by more,” Stark babbled, obviously not sensing the tension.

“Loki,” Thor breathed in wonder. 

“Thor, out.” Loki ordered.

“But Stark is-”

“Yes, and shouldn’t I be the one to tell him?” Loki pleaded. 

“Why haven’t you?”

“Why do you think?” Loki spat. 

“Is that why-?” Thor gestured to Loki’s body.

“Please, Thor,” Loki begged. “Just… don’t.”

Thor growled and stalked out of the room. Loki was left alone with Stark. Once Loki dared to look the mortal in the eye, Stark was regarding him dubiously. Loki sat up despite the heavy ache in his chest. He couldn’t stand being so prone around Stark. 

“So, I have no idea what that was about since you were speaking in some kind of code, but I sense that it has something to do with me and with why you’ve been sick.” Stark hedged.

Loki sighed. “It’s not your burden to bear, Stark.”

“Screw that, it’s killing you, isn’t it?” And Loki was surprised at how truly gutted Stark looked about that. He did care, even if it wasn’t enough; it was something.

“I…” Loki felt trapped, like he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to lie but he didn’t dare tell the truth. “I don’t know what to say.”

Stark sat down on the edge of the bed and tentatively placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder. The hand felt disproportionately warm through the tunic Loki was wearing. The look in Stark’s eye was so soft, so open. Loki could almost believe that he could just tell the man everything.

“I know we haven’t known each other very long, and most of that we either disliked or avoided one another, but I’d like to think that we’ve started on the path to being friends the last few weeks. Hell, I love being around you. I’ve never enjoyed having someone in my lab that much before. You have to know that I want to help you, not just for my own ego, but because I think that you’re someone I want to stick around for a while, so I can get to know you even better. So, come on, Lokes; just tell me.”

“We’re soulmates.”

Stark looked just about as shocked to hear those words as Loki was to have them come out of his mouth. He had definitely intended for it to come out a bit more delicately than that. Stark immediately stood up, not able to remain sitting under such pressure. Likely he didn’t want to remain touching Loki. 

“Wait… what?” It was the first Loki had really seen Stark at a loss. It was wildly endearing, if the situation wasn’t so dire he would have smiled.

“Jotuns, we’re cold. So, when we meet our soulmates, the air around us doesn’t warm like it does for Asgardians or mortals, it chills. That’s what you’ve been feeling ever since we met. You’re the only one who feels that,” Loki explained. 

Loki could practically see the memory of their first meeting flashing through Stark’s eyes. The pieces all falling into place as he realized he had an absolute perfect memory of that encounter.

“But, what does that have to do with you being sick?” Tony asked, looking not angry, but still dazed. 

“It appears that Jotuns experience some negative effects when their soulmates deny them. Their heart freezes,” Loki explained, then quickly added. “I don’t blame you. Why wouldn’t you reject the person who tried to conquer your world, however unintentionally?”

“Unintentional conquering?” Stark asked with a wry grin. 

“I meant that you denied me unintentionally, but the conquering too. It’s a long story, you know the gist.”

“A story that you might not have the time to tell, because your heart is freezing…” Stark said in a disconcerting monotone. “Because you’re my soulmate.”

“It’s fine. I mean, you’d already given up on finding your soulmate, you can just pretend this little blip never happened.” Loki let out a weak laugh, and it just unfurled that bared bit of flame left in him because it sounded so weak. “I won’t be pitied; I won’t be kept around just because of some guilt complex.”

Stark frowned at him. “You’re an idiot.”

Well, that was a little uncalled for. Insulting Loki in what was likely his final hours. Just downright rude and hurtful. 

“I have a soulmate.” Wonder was rife in Stark’s tone and the corners of his mouth twitched up into the beginnings of a smile. 

“Even better,  _ you’re _ my soulmate,” Stark was actually grinning.

“Oh, you almost seem… pleased,” Loki ventured. 

Stark sat down on the bed and took Loki’s hand. Loki leaned forward despite himself, handing on Starks words.

“Loki, I never denied you. I didn’t even know you were my soulmate. Though, I can’t say that this wouldn’t have gone differently if you told me when we first met. But, I’ve wanted a soulmate so much, for so long. And finally having one, and having it be the guy I’ve been crushing on for weeks now. A guy I already kind of adore and think is smoking hot. Damn it, I just can’t wait to get to know you that much more.”

“But… that can’t be. I mean… how could you? After everything?” Loki didn’t mean to ask, the words just fell out of his mouth. 

“The question is more like how can I not? You’re snarky, wicked smart and extremely attractive. Once I got over myself enough to spend time with you, I figure it was inevitable.”

“But… your date?” 

Tony grimaced. “The whole romance, soulmate thing was kind of a touchy subject for you. I knew you had one, so I didn’t want to get in the way of that. The date was me trying to get my mind off you and I failed miserably. I had just about convinced myself that I needed to just talk to you when I walked into the lab and found you. I thought I’d lost you, Lokes, before I had a chance to really have you.”

“Tony, I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted this,” Loki gasped.

Suddenly, Tony leaned forward and snatched Loki into a kiss. His lips were soft and warm and Loki could feel them melting him all the way down to his toes. Tears were streaming from his eyes. Real tears, liquid tears. He felt lighter than air. Just like that, the pain and heartache that Loki had been struggling with for what felt like forever faded away in the warmth of acceptance.

It was an odd feeling, to be crying and yet unbearably happy. Loki had rarely cried in the past and never for joy. A giggle bubbled up inside Loki and he couldn’t help but release it. Tony leaned back, smiling fondly at him. 

“I like it when you call me Tony,” he said. 

“I like it when you kiss me,” Loki replied. 

“Then I promise to kiss you every time you call me Tony.”

“That sounds like a deal, Tony”

A deal that they sealed with a kiss that was wet with tears but full of hope and promise. 

**Author's Note:**

> Update for even more art! This time by the very talented Jaxonkreide! https://jaxonkreide.tumblr.com/post/188821704529/fanart-for-inspired-by-im-not-sure-anymore-at


End file.
